Frequently Asked Questions: Coaching with Destin Gerek

Who is Destin Gerek’s coaching for?

I work with men who want to master their sexuality and become more present, skilled lovers and partners. Many are successful and have done real inner work, but sex and intimacy haven’t caught up with the rest of their lives. Some come with a specific issue like premature ejaculation, performance anxiety, or porn. Others want more passion in a long-term relationship, or want to explore what their sexuality is truly capable of.

What do you help men with?

The most common areas are lasting longer and ejaculatory control, performance anxiety, sexual confidence, moving beyond porn, shame around sex, and bringing passion back into a relationship. I also teach skills most men don’t know are learnable: full-body orgasms, non-ejaculatory orgasms, and male multiple orgasms. Underneath all of it is presence and attunement, being fully in your body and with your partner instead of performing.

Is this therapy?

No. I’m a certified sexologist and a coach, not a licensed psychotherapist or physician, and my work isn’t medical or mental-health treatment. It’s education and embodied practice. Many of my clients work with a therapist or doctor alongside our work. If something you bring needs clinical care, such as a possible medical cause for erection problems, I’ll tell you and encourage you to get that support.

What are your credentials?

I’m a Certified Sexologist through the American Board of Sexology (ABS certification #23936) and a Certified Sexological Bodyworker through the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality (IASHS). I’ve spent more than 20 years practicing and experimenting around male sexuality. I’m also the author of the best-selling book The Evolved Masculine.

Do you work online or in person?

Both. Private mentorship happens online, in person, or a mix of the two. In person is mostly in San Diego, but clients also fly me out to them, or we meet at a third location that suits the work. Sexual Self-Mastery is entirely online: video modules and practices you do privately at home on your own schedule.

How much does private mentorship cost?

Private mentorship starts at $25,000, with a minimum commitment of 100 days. Because every engagement is bespoke, the final investment depends on the scope: how deep the work goes, how long it runs, and whether it includes in-person time in San Diego, travel to you, or a third location. Start with an inquiry. If it’s a fit, we’ll talk, and I’ll lay out a scope and investment built around you.

How do I start private mentorship?

Fill out the inquiry form on my Private Mentorship page. Tell me something true about where you are and what you’re moving toward. It doesn’t need to be polished. I read every inquiry personally. If it looks like a real fit, I’ll reach out to schedule a conversation, and that’s where we both decide whether to move forward. I work with a small number of men at a time.

What is Sexual Self-Mastery (SSM)?

Sexual Self-Mastery is my 13-week online training for men, formerly called Orgasmic Mastery. It teaches ejaculatory control and lasting as long as you choose, full-body orgasms, non-ejaculatory and multiple orgasms, and how to bring that into a relationship. It includes weekly video modules, guided practices, demonstration videos, journal prompts, a self-assessment, a PDF of my book, and an AI companion trained on the curriculum. More than 2,000 men have taken it.

How much does SSM cost, and how long does it take?

SSM is $997 paid upfront, or four monthly payments of $297. It runs 13 weeks: you get the first module right away, and a new one is released each week. After you finish, you keep lifetime access to the curriculum and future updates. It comes with a 30-day refund guarantee.

Can you help with premature ejaculation and lasting longer?

Yes. It’s one of the most common reasons men come to me. Lasting longer is a skill, not a fixed trait. You retrain your nervous system and your arousal patterns through breath, relaxation, presence, PC-muscle work, and conscious self-pleasure practice. Many men in SSM go from lasting a few minutes to as long as they choose. If you suspect a medical cause, check with a doctor as well.

Can you help me quit porn?

Yes. I’m not running a shame-based quitting program. I help you change the patterns porn trained into your body: rewiring how you get aroused so your turn-on builds from your own body and your partner rather than a screen. SSM includes a dedicated no-porn and ejaculation challenge, and many men end their dependence on porn during the program.

Do I need a partner to do this work?

No. Most of the core practices in SSM are done on your own, and single men do this work all the time. In fact, a lot of men want to do it before their next relationship. If you have a partner, SSM includes a week of partner practices, and many men find their partner notices the difference well before the program ends.

Do you work with couples?

Yes. I work with couples directly, as well as with men on their own. Couples work is bespoke like the rest of my mentorship: we can work together as a couple, and each partner can also do individual work with me or with a practitioner I trust. If you’re in SSM, Week 11 is dedicated to integration and partner practices you do together.

Is everything confidential?

Yes. What you share in our work stays between us, and I’m happy to sign an NDA on request. Client stories on my site are shared with permission, using first names, initials, or no name at all to protect privacy. SSM is fully online and private, so you do the practices at home on your own schedule.

How quickly will I see results?

It depends on where you start and how consistently you practice. Many SSM students notice changes within the first few weeks, like more presence, more control, and more confidence. One private client had his first non-ejaculatory orgasm after about six weeks. The deeper shifts build across the full 13 weeks and keep going after. Results vary from man to man, and there are no guarantees.

Should I choose Sexual Self-Mastery, a VIP Day, or private mentorship?

Choose SSM ($997) for a proven, structured path you do privately at your own pace. Choose a VIP Day ($10,000) for one bespoke, full-day intensive with me in person, in San Diego or another location, with an intention-setting call beforehand and two follow-up sessions. Choose private mentorship (starting at $25,000, minimum 100 days) for ongoing work built entirely around you or you and your partner, as your life and relationship evolve.