Sexual Self-Mastery
Sexual Self-Mastery is designed to help you be a much better lover, learn to last as long as you want, release any shame, guilt, or fear that you may carry around your body or sexuality, and ultimately have a much more satisfying sex life as a result (for both you AND her!).
Congratulations on taking this powerful step on the path of Sexual Self-Mastery.
This training is designed to go through over the course of three months. Each week, you will receive an email twice a week with links to the lessons available to you with a total of 20 lessons. We drip this content to you step by step so that you focus on taking your time doing the practices and really integrating these tools into your life, rather than just speed your way through some videos.
We recommend that you keep a journal while going through this program. We consistently find that men who track their progress end up getting the best results.
Most men buy this program because they want to last longer in bed, or better still, learn to last as long as they want. That is the foundation of what I want for you out of this course, *and* it’s only the beginning.
Pull out your journal, when you hear the words Sexual Self-Mastery what comes to mind?
When you attain SSM what will be different in your life?
Have you truly committed to this program?
What would it take for you to make a real and deep commitment?
What do you believe that making this deep commitment to doing all of the practices would make possible for you?
The Four Gates Of Sexual Self Mastery
1- Ejaculatory Choice
2- Full Body Orgasms
3- Non-Ejaculatory Energetic Orgasms
4- Male Multiple Orgasms
Sexual Shame, Guilt, & Fear
Did you catch that part about resistances coming up? We’re not kidding! The ego mind is a powerful thing. Watch for the ways you may find yourself coming up with stories to avoid doing these practices. Remember, simply watching the videos is not going to do much for you. If you want results, you *must* do the practices.
Say it out loud with me: ‘Yes, I commit to doing these practices and walking this path of Sexual Self Mastery’
If You Have a Partner
THE PRACTICE:
Sexual Self-Assessment:
What are the habits that you’ve developed around masturbation and self-pleasure? What habits are supporting you in having the sex life you really want? What habits are getting in the way of you having what you want?
Take your time going through these questions. Much like what we will be focusing on throughout this program, don’t rush through the questionnaire just to get to the end.
Take your time, and be present with each question.
NOTE: You MUST submit the Sexual Self-Assessment BEFORE our first scheduled zoom session!
PC Muscles and Kegels:
These exercises are key to gaining Sexual Self-Mastery. This is about gaining felt awareness of these muscles, strengthening the muscles, and gaining a control in your ability to both flex *and* relax these muscles.
Your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle is crucial to your ability to master your orgasms, so we’re going to start learning about it right away. The PC muscle is quite long and extends from your pubic bone down around the base of your cock all the way between down to your anus. It surrounds your anal sphincter and attaches to your coccyx, or tailbone. The etymology is as follows: pubo = pubic bone, coccygeus = coccyx, or tailbone, thus the name pubococcygeus. It’s a pretty big muscle!
The PC muscle is sometimes known as the sex muscle. Strengthening your PC muscle using Kegel exercises might be the single most important thing you can do to improve your sex life. Dr. Arnold Kegel developed the eponymously-named Kegel exercises in the 1950s. As a gynecologist, he sought to help women gain strength in order to facilitate smoother childbirths. The exercises proved to be incredibly effective, but they also had this unexpected side effect: the women started reporting an easier time having orgasms! They had more orgasms, better orgasms, stronger orgasms, and multiple orgasms. If you do an internet search on Kegel exercises, most of what you’ll find relates to women.
When I was 19 years old I started exploring Kegel exercises, which I like to call PC pull-ups, and have been doing them on and off ever since.
When you first start doing your PC pull-ups, you may find that your PC muscles are really weak. It may be uncomfortable, maybe even painful or sore to try playing with these exercises. It’s like working with any weak muscle: don’t overdo it! Start off slowly, and build up over time.
Just like going to the gym – when you go to the gym for the first time, you’re not going to come home and suddenly be super buff. But, if you start going and create a regular workout routine where you are doing this on a consistent basis, in a couple of months you are going to see a significant change.
So why should you do Kegels? Why should you create a greater connection to having stronger PC muscles? Kegel exercises help you to gain:
- stronger erections;
- stronger, more powerful orgasms;
- the ability to shoot further when you ejaculate;
- the muscle control needed to have non-ejaculatory orgasms;
- male multiple orgasms.
These are some pretty damned good reasons!
The next time that you go to the bathroom, practice stopping the stream of urine. The muscle you are using to do that is part of your PC muscle. Try doing it repeatedly: pee, stop the flow, and do it again.
Gain consciousness of which muscles you are using. This might be easy or challenging. Or maybe it even burns. If that’s the case, then you are starting with a relatively weak PC muscle. Don’t despair! This simply means you need to give it more attention. Once you have this awareness of your PC muscle, you don’t need to do that in the same way every time you urinate, only initially to get the hang of it. Some doctors say it’s not healthy to interrupt urine flow repeatedly, but in small doses it poses little risk. Once you are aware, and once you know what it feels like to squeeze that muscle, you can squeeze that muscle anytime. Try it right now. Tune into the muscle and contract the pelvic floor.
Another way for you to get in touch with your PC muscle is to sit on your heels if you are flexible enough to do so. Sit such that your heel is on your taint – the area between your anus and your genitals, also known as the perineum. Alternatively, use your middle three fingers to press into that spot. Now try to squeeze the muscles that you feel against your fingers or your heel. If you feel something contracting, there you go – that’s your PC muscle. Just give it a squeeze a few times and see how hard you can squeeze it. Try to do a three second long squeeze, and then release.
I recommend you practice your Kegel exercises multiple times throughout the day in order to have a strong PC muscle. This is the key to gaining orgasmic mastery, and having full control over your ejaculation.
When you have a strong PC muscle, you will be able to squeeze in order to keep yourself from ejaculating; instead of releasing semen, you will be able to move that energy throughout your body.
Here are two apps that we recommend for training your PC muscles:
iOS users: Stamena app:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/stamena-longer-lasting-sex/id1106687104?mt=8
Android users: Kegel Trainer app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.jsdev.pfei
If for some reason, you don’t want to use one of the kegel training apps, on the right side of this window, we’ve included a Kegel exercise tracker PDF that you can use to keep track of how many kegels you are to be doing each week. (If using an app, simply follow the app and ignore this document)
An Important Message from a Former Student
Do you need a little extra inspiration/motivation as you get started on this journey? Merv has a message for you...
Again, if you haven’t already, fill out the Sexual Self-Assessment now!
